<div dir="ltr"><br><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Apr 4, 2018 at 12:19 PM, caroline arms <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:caroline.arms@gmail.com" target="_blank">caroline.arms@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr"><div>I started my review of the draft with Clause 12 -- as the most recent changes.<br><br></div>I hope these help. Caroline<br><div><br><div><div class="gmail_extra">General comments:<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">Referring to W3C Recommendation “XML-Signature Syntax and Processing”. Most frequently it is referred to as "XML-Signature Syntax and Processing" but in some places, perhaps only in 12.8 and 12.9, it is referred to as "
<span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">the W3C recommendation</span>." We should probably be consistent.<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">I think it would be helpful to refer to the Relationships namespace and associated schema for all OPC-specific elements somewhere early on, perhaps in 12.2 (although maybe it needs to be in normative text).<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">I also think it would be useful to have a reference to §8.5.5.3 (currently titled Relationships Part around Digital Signature) in §12.4 or earlier -- §12.4 mentions the relationships associated with digital signatures but doesn't say anything about them.<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">Aside: I suggest changing the title for §8.5.5.3 to Relationships Parts related to Digital Signature Markup. Notice the suggestion that Part be made plural -- because there are two Relationships Parts associated with any digital signature (see diagrams).<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">Specific comments:<br><br>12.3<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">"to sign" should be "to be signed"<br><br>12.5.3<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">2nd sentence. I would change "the OPC-specific" to "an OPC-specific" <br><br>12.5.7<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">last sentence in first para should be two sentences. Break before first "its"<br>"
<span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">This element is OPC-specific, its namespace is
shown in </span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">Annex
E</span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">,
and its schema definition is in Annex </span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">C.4</span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">.</span>
"<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">to<br>
<span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">"This element is OPC-specific. Its namespace is
shown in </span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">Annex
E</span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">,
and its schema definition is in Annex </span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">C.4</span><span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:Calibri">."</span>
<br></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">12.5.8<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">as for 12.5.7<br><br>12.6<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">Step 2.4)<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">remove comma pair surrounding "either have an Id value that matches a SourceId value"<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">I'm not sure that putting "or" in italics is consistent with our document style.<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">I would add "have" after "or"<br><br><br>12.7<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">The added text explaining the example is welcome.<br></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">First or second sentence. I think the use of the pds: prefix in the example could usefully be mentioned up front somewhere, without requiring digging into the long example.<br></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">Last sentence of the narrative before the actual example<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">Should Signature be SignatureValue here<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">12.8 and 12.9<br></div><div class="gmail_extra">These are the sections that refer to W3C Recommendation “XML-Signature Syntax and Processing” differently from references in earlier subclauses.<br><br></div><div class="gmail_extra">"as per" does not strike me as consistent with usual style in specifications, particularly at the beginning of a sentence. In the instances here, I would use "following the steps in" or "Follow the steps in" depending on position in sentence.<br><br><br></div></div></div></div>
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